In one past post, a commenter actually accused me of not seeing Raiyan first before the autism because I call him “autistic” and not “with autism”. I was slightly taken aback by this accusation, especially because I have used the terms “autistic” and “with autism” interchangeably. In fact, didn’t she see my blog description “Heartwarming tales of a pweshes boy with autism in Brunei”?
Can you believe there are actual debates(on top of every other endless debate on autism) over the usage of these terms? Frankly my humble opinion on it is it makes no difference which one is used. What I hate though is when a parent judges another parent based on their choice of which term they use.
The reason why some people prefer not to say “autistic” is because it gives the impression that autism defines the child and that is ALL he or she is, whereas if you say a child “has autism” then it seems clearer (I guess..) that the child is his own person who happens to have autism as part of him.
You would know from reading my pweshes philosophy that I have always thought that autism is a part of Raiyan and at times is actually a large part of him. But I still do not think that Raiyan equals autism and nothing else. And it certainly doesn’t mean that if I call him autistic, my philosophy is any different. To me it is just a different use of language where “autistic” is an adjective and “with autism” makes the autism a noun. It means the same thing!
For example, when you use an adjective to describe others such as “she is bossy” or “he is creative” or even something not nice like “she is fat”, you are not defining that person to be ONLY smart or funny or fat right? And wouldn’t it be strange to call them “a girl with bossy qualities” or “a boy with creativity” or “a girl with a heavy weight?” Doesn’t that sound weird?
So please, if the next time anyone feels the urge to tell another parent off or judge them just because they use “autistic”, please give them the benefit of the doubt that most likely than not, it is simply because it’s easier and shorter to say.
And for others, who hear a child being described as “autistic”, give the child the benefit of the doubt that that’s only an adjective to be used of his or her character at times but it does not FULLY make up who he or she is.
Nobody likes to be defined by a label anyway because every human being, disabled or not, has their own unique qualities that contributes to this beautifully diverse God given world. The only label you should always call another by is actually really straightforward-their name!
Can you believe there are actual debates(on top of every other endless debate on autism) over the usage of these terms? Frankly my humble opinion on it is it makes no difference which one is used. What I hate though is when a parent judges another parent based on their choice of which term they use.
The reason why some people prefer not to say “autistic” is because it gives the impression that autism defines the child and that is ALL he or she is, whereas if you say a child “has autism” then it seems clearer (I guess..) that the child is his own person who happens to have autism as part of him.
You would know from reading my pweshes philosophy that I have always thought that autism is a part of Raiyan and at times is actually a large part of him. But I still do not think that Raiyan equals autism and nothing else. And it certainly doesn’t mean that if I call him autistic, my philosophy is any different. To me it is just a different use of language where “autistic” is an adjective and “with autism” makes the autism a noun. It means the same thing!
For example, when you use an adjective to describe others such as “she is bossy” or “he is creative” or even something not nice like “she is fat”, you are not defining that person to be ONLY smart or funny or fat right? And wouldn’t it be strange to call them “a girl with bossy qualities” or “a boy with creativity” or “a girl with a heavy weight?” Doesn’t that sound weird?
So please, if the next time anyone feels the urge to tell another parent off or judge them just because they use “autistic”, please give them the benefit of the doubt that most likely than not, it is simply because it’s easier and shorter to say.
And for others, who hear a child being described as “autistic”, give the child the benefit of the doubt that that’s only an adjective to be used of his or her character at times but it does not FULLY make up who he or she is.
Nobody likes to be defined by a label anyway because every human being, disabled or not, has their own unique qualities that contributes to this beautifully diverse God given world. The only label you should always call another by is actually really straightforward-their name!
6 comments:
you spoke it beautifully! I used to not like the word autistic. To me it is almost a degrading word. Like retarded. I use my son has autism. But I grown to not care. Because when it comes to parenting we all do the best we can really. Everything we say and do is for the love of the child. So I have learned to relax on the subject. Excellent post thanks :)
Yeah, it used to kind of bother me but not anymore. Autistic, has autism, same difference.
Very well said! Thanks. :)
Well said! When you have not one but 2 "autists" it doesn't matter.
The label helps us parents to help them cope with the "the standardized normalities of society".
But they each have a name and their own character and personality.....Autism just explains their "specialness"!
Thanks all! and Phew.. I was so afraid I might start a debate here but I'm glad we're all on the same page! :D
This one is always funny to me too. I don't care if people say my son is autistic, or if they say he has autism. I find myself being careful when I refer to other peoples kids, saying they have autism. But with my own, I don't care! I think it's all really silly, but I understand some are more sensitive to it than others. To each his own! And like you said, You can say whatever you want about your own kid! I cannot agree with you more!
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