Hope Won

When Barack Obama won the election last week, Oprah Winfrey said “Hope Won.” For parents with an autistic child especially, hope plays such a primary role in our lives that I’m sure for some, Obama’s journey and victory resonates a somewhat familiar feeling because we ourselves are firsthand witness of what hope can achieve despite the uphill struggle we have to endure in raising our children.

Both Obama’s campaign and victory could impart so many things that we can learn from and take away positively for us to start looking forward to a brighter future:

He proved that if you are smart and have an in-depth knowledge of what you are doing, you will succeed.

He showed how you can start from the bottom with nothing, but with continuous tireless work, you will get to where you want to be.

In the face of shallow provocation, he exudes patience and a gentle toughness and avoids regrettable acts by maintaining calm and choosing to think things through before taking action.

Those who voted for him demonstrated how very possible it is for people and society to be open to change and to depart from something that is traditionally and comfortably acceptable in their minds.

Both Obama and those who voted for him encouraged others to not fear difference or diversity despite the repeated personal attacks on him by his rivals in an attempt to instill fear of something different or unfamiliar. And throughout, Obama demonstrated an unruffled demeanor and pure classiness when sticking to the issues and choosing to not retaliate even an inch to all of those appalling attacks.

All of the above principles, Obama elegantly encouraged and upheld consistently with the simple message of hope.

On top of the daily struggles we autism parents go through in raising our child(ren), unfortunately I have also found that the autism community unnecessarily contributes more to these heartaches and headaches with its own politics and war of words. It is quite difficult to find an objective point of view on issues that range from the choices of treatment to the risks of vaccination without also having to read judgmental and harsh comments deriving from opinions ping-ponging from one to another. One page out of Obama’s book that we can certainly learn from is to try and understand everyone’s points of view objectively, to listen with an open heart and an open mind and to steer away from jumping into conclusions or making rash decisions and judgments over the actions of another parent or child. We have to learn to set aside our petty disagreements and learn to find and embrace the common ground we have amongst ourselves and that is the hope for a better future for our children.

I have had my fair share of bumps along this pweshes journey and I don’t expect them to stop any time soon. But in a twisted way, I have been thankful for the episodes that I’ve had because it was through those experiences that I have been taught the power of hope and faith that things will in its own way look up and get better, so long as you work hard and carry on with the best of intentions. And Alhamdulillah, hope has blessed us and rewarded us with Raiyan’s amazing progress every single day and with this progress, we are more than happy to share our story and offer the same hope to other parents.

That’s why I think I have been so passionate over Obama’s victory to the extent that I’d get defensive towards skeptics who write me off as another starry eyed “fan”. I passionately and wholeheartedly believe in hope, not only in myself but more so in others. This year alone, I have seen strangers joining together and freely offering empathy and compassion to one another. I have personally seen selfless generous souls making contributions with no apparent benefit to themselves. I have seen people react sensibly in the face of diversity. I’ve seen the pure dedication and tremendous hard work of Raiyan’s therapists in everything they do. And I’m still overwhelmed with the amount of support I’ve received through this humble blog of mine.THAT’S why my enthusiasm for Obama cannot be completely and superficially construed as nothing more than a naïve and easily led fixation because I have learnt from personal experience to truly believe in the powers of hope along with hard work, determination and a pure heart (hati yang ikhlas).

Every day from now , I urge other parents to not stop working, not stop campaigning, not stop learning, and most importantly, not stop hoping. Hope is what helps us get through the tough times but with every sweat and tears that we put into our efforts we also get our shares of joy and appreciation. And from what we see with our very own eyes on every single day and especially on that momentous night of November 4th, indeed, hope CAN and DOES win.