Dinner Table Battles

I have mentioned before how difficult it is to get Raiyan to finish eating his meals and to stay at the dinner table throughout. I tried to use 30 minutes of TV as a reward for finishing his meals but after a while, its effectiveness receded as we still had to nag him every 5 seconds to put a spoonful into his mouth. Not surprisingly, this was one of the questions we had for Dr. Lee during the 20 minute private consultation we had with him.

Dr. Lee said that the best way (which is also something he sarcastically said is something mothers would just "love") is to make Raiyan know that eating can only happen at the dinner table and hence if he decides to leave, he has to understand that he will not be able to eat anything else until the next meal so he risked getting hungry during that time. Of course me as a mother immediately thought that this would naturally mean if Raiyan leaves the table after just one spoon and if he continues to do this at every meal, he will start getting malnourished! Dr. Lee assured me that from his experience, this tactic would only take up a few days at most as "surprise surprise" the kids would always end up being hungry!! The most important thing is (along with dealing with other behavioural problems) is to be consistent and to follow through.

So we've been trying that with Raiyan and we have persevered through his unremitting whines and excuses.. The usual ones he comes up with is:

R: "I miss Alisha, can I be with her ?"(in the playroom-I know I lack consistency this way as I let Alisha and Addin eat in the playroom before the TV!)
to which I answer : "You can be with Alisha for the rest of the day after you finish your lunch"
R:But why Alisha eat in playroom? I want to eat in the playroom too?"
Me: Alisha is still a baby so it's ok for her to not eat at the dinner table. But when she turns 3, she must eat at the dinner table too ok?"
R: "Okaaayy..sob sob"

So when I did what Dr. Lee advised to and told him that he can leave the dinner table if he doesn't want to eat anymore BUT he cannot eat anything until dinner time, he STILL decided against leaving because I know he wants to eat his chocolate chip cookies right after AND I also think because of this natural compliant nature, he could tell I was upset by making that threat so he just stayed for fear I might get even more upset if he DOES leave! Bless him!

In the end, he still finished his meal and he still complies to eat at the dinner table.. BUT we STILL have to continue nagging him to continue to feed himself everytime we see him switch off and gaze into mid-air! Sigh, somethings just never change BUT we really hope to overcome this one day so long as we are consistent and we persevere!! InsyaAllah Amin!