Breaking an autism myth

When I first started learning about autism, one of the things I had read was that autistic persons are not able to profess their love to others in words. Surprisingly, I had accepted that “fact” because at that point I was just content to have Raiyan just talk anyway, so the need for him to tell me he loves me was hardly necessary! Also, I was already comforted with Raiyan’s constant hugs and needs to hold me when he’s about to sleep as signs that he indeed does love his mama.

So I never had any expectations for Raiyan to say on his own initiative the actual words “I love you mama”. All I expected was for him to just reciprocate when I was the one telling him that I love him. Even this was a challenge in itself as in the early days, he would almost always say back “I love you Raiyan” (because of the echolalia) and it took constant remindings for him to eventually respond correctively by saying “I love you mama.”

Now, as you can tell from my recent posts, Raiyan is at such a good place right now and he is constantly amazing all of us with what is going on in that special little head of his. It’s like as if all of the things that he has learnt in the last 17 months are slowly falling into the right places and he seems to have a much clearer understanding of using what has been taught, not only in how he himself uses it but also in how others are using it too.

And yet, I still never expected him to independently say “ I love you” simply because that was one of the “facts” that I have accepted from the start as being a trait of autism.

Until two weeks ago when he has started to say this to me, out of nowhere, just out of the blue, without me initiating it.. the special words “I love you mama” came out of his mouth completely independently. And I really feel and believe he’s saying it because he really means it. My instinct tells me that he probably said this because he’s missing me more lately because I’ve been spending more time at the gym after work but at the same time I also really think because of this “everything falling into place” phenomena that he is going through, Raiyan has finally understood what it means to say “I Love You.”

He’s only ever said it four times in the last 2 weeks which convinces me even more that it is a genuine statement rather than it being a favourite phrase of the week! And I notice that when he says it, along with holding on to a part of my body very tightly, it’s also in this really loving and heartwarming tone that I do not doubt the love that he feels for me. He even had Jo sent me a text message saying “I love you mama, B-) Raiyan” last week!

So for any parent who thinks it’s not possible for their child to say “I Love You” think again! That’s actually just another myth as opposed to a fact in this complex world of autism!