The Love Affair with the Computer

Raiyan started independently playing with the computer just 3 months short of his 3rd birthday. I initiated it by playing a number of interactive games on http://www.sesameworkshop.org/ and http://atv.disney.go.com/playhouse which he loved doing together with me. Obviously it got to a point where he was loving it too much that I started to get a bit sick and tired of playing the same games probably 10-15 times in a row! More because I wanted to give myself a break from it without having to deprive him of the entertainment he was clearly getting, I tried my luck and introduced him to the mouse so he can play the games himself. I swear to god, he mastered using the mouse within 3 minutes and he’s been off doing his own thing with the internet ever since.

After having ventured through all the interactive games, short movies and song recordings from the abovementioned sites, he managed to find newer sites to play with. At first I was obviously bewildered as to how he could have done this but I slowly discovered that he would just click on various links until he stops at something he likes. The amazing thing is that sometimes it would take him more than 5 links but every single time if he wants to re-visit that site he likes, he would remember the sequence of links to click to get to where he wants to go.

Raiyan 3 years old

He would get very proficient with computer games too. To be honest, I didn’t really spend much time doing this with him as this has been more of a favourite pastime of him with his grandma and she would always tell me how amazing he was in his ability to spot things that she couldn’t and how fast he was with his hands in terms of timing and precision. Without a doubt, he could have given some grown ups a run for their money in some of the games he was frankly, very brilliant at.

When he started getting obsessed with his animals, what he would spend hours doing was open up all his animal books and wikepedia all the animals he could find. Not surprisingly, this was probably where he learnt that a whale is a mammal and not a fish, that a polar bear doesn’t live in Antarctica but only in the Arctic, how he knew of some obscure animals like the gharial and also the many different types of crocodiles out there and how he decided that his dream destination is going on a safari in Africa (this choice even beats going to Disney World!).

After having met other parents through Learning Ladders, I discovered that Raiyan is not the only autistic child to love the computer so much. One boy managed to spot his teacher’s password (just by watching her type it) and accessed her email without her knowing at all! Another boy managed to create his own user account on the computer just by being in the same room whilst his mum was creating her account!

I used to see the computer as a serious double edged sword. I loved how Raiyan can keep himself entertained by it, how much he was learning things on it and how he can hone his skills in educational games that even some adults find trouble playing. But at the same time, he would spend such prolonged times on it that caused him to completely disconnect with the rest of the world, took him away from being interested in anything else, made his obsessions with animals worse and also was the main cause of his self talk and echolalia (he would repeat what was being said on the children websites like “to turn right, click on the red button etc etc”). And it goes without saying but the tantrums would be just terrifying everytime we wanted him to switch the computer off.

Alhamdulillah, once he started this therapy and his obsessive tendencies started to lessen in intensity, he started to be able to play with the internet a few minutes at a time and then move on to something else. (Take note that in the early stages to avoid him playing with it altogether, I had to change the home page to a site that didn’t have any search engines on it. Shortly after seeing how it wasn’t possible for him to get to a site that he liked, he just naturally gave up).

But this week, because it is his school holidays, I noticed him slowly returning to his old computer nerdy self... I guess with no school and no therapy during the day, “playing” didn’t come so naturally to him if compared to times when he would just follow up at home what he had done that morning. And when he’s at his grandparents’ house the whole day, there are less things for him to play with too since most of his toys are at home anyway. So it’s no surprises that he resorted to spending his time on the computer for most of the day over there. That didn’t worry me so much as I can understand that it might be difficult for him to entertain himself for the reasons I had told you. But what I was taken aback with was the fact that once he got home, he still insisted to play with the computer and refused to have his dinner and had a tantrum when I switched the computer off.

This has helped remind me of the fact that Raiyan is still a work in progress and that just because he seemed to have been able to freely come and go from the computer doesn't mean he won't go back to his previously obsessive ways if the circumstances around him causes him to do so.

At the same time, having re-visited the computer since he started therapy have also reminded me of all the things he's good at when he's on the computer that I just thought that perhaps I should still encourage him to continue with some of them..

At the end of the day, it's really about finding the balance of letting him enjoy the computer without it necessarily becoming an obsession. Because even though it can get quite worrying when he's stuck with it all day, sometimes I just have to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's not necessarily obsessed with it but maybe it's something that he just really enjoys, not unlike when typical children have their hobbies too. Furthermore, seeing the amazing things he can do on the computer should only just encourage me to let him carry on with what he loves doing!

Raiyan teaching Alisha some computer skills