Golden Points

Jo first told me about the token system she's been doing with Raiyan and she also asked Dr. Lee during the seminar if it’s an acceptable thing to do. We were glad to hear that he did think that it is useful as a positive reinforcer for desirable behavior that we would seek from Raiyan.

Last Sunday at the bookstore, Raiyan really wanted to buy this amazing Little Einsteins Activity book, equipped with more than 1000 animal fact files and little “microfilm” pictures. Of course I was reluctant to do so since I’ve already bought him a bunch of stuff from my Singapore trip. Usually, Raiyan is actually fine with putting the book back on the shelf (this was once an actual “routine”!) but in this case he was resistant and he said “but somebody else might buy it!”. So just to be safe, we asked the cashier if there are many in stock and unfortunately the one on display is the only one left. Empathizing with Raiyan’s fear, we decided to just buy it for now but he can only have it once he has earned 50 Golden Points (similar to the token system Jo has been doing). Naturally, just hearing us planning to buy it was good enough for Raiyan so he seamlessly agreed to the plan.

So it’s been 3 days and 11 points into the plan and it’s quite good actually! Of course I didn’t hesitate to use it to entice him to finish his meals faster AND staying put at the dining table(which he did!) and I actually had it in my mind to do that at every mealtime. Raiyan thought so too until Babah stepped in and said that it’ll be too easy if we were to give it at every mealtime and there’s the risk of it becoming a routine too. Unfortunately Raiyan only found out about this change of plans AFTER he finished his dinner so when he ran to me and exclaimed “I finished my dinner! Can I get my 3 points now?” I had to break the sad fact to him and he let out a teeny sob “Aaawww..” together with a long face. I felt so sorry for him and nearly gave in but felt I didn’t want to overstep Babah so instead I asked him if he wants a banana instead and Raiyan immediately perked up and said YES and forgot all about the points he didn’t get! (We really forget how easy it is to make these kids happy sometimes!).

I keep track of his golden points by drawing stars on the whiteboard and keeping count of them with the BIG 50 at the bottom of the board. Raiyan gets so excited whenever we count how many stars he’s got, which at the moment stands at 11. But then he would ALWAYS say thereafter, “But mama, I think 50 is too much!” Heehee..

Also, apart from wanting desirable behavior, I’m also trying to use the points system to help avoid undesirable ones though I do try to keep it a minimum as I don’t like to “punish” him too much. The only thing I’m stressing on now is his articulation of “excuse me” which I know he can say but lately he has been lazy and saying “ku me” instead. I’ve been drilling this in him for the last 2 weeks now and he IS getting much better at it but just to instill it more, I warned him that if I catch him saying “ku me” I will take one point away. Oh you should have seen how sad he was when I did do that just the one time. I brought him to the whiteboard and canceled out one star and he just sat down in front of the board and cried out softly “nooo..”.. I felt so EVIL but the good thing is not only has he NOT said “ku me” ever since but he was even MORE motivated to get his points thereafter! Bless him!