If you have noticed, I posted a link to this other blog that I manage (surprise, surprise!) on behalf of the children where it seems as if it is them that are telling their stories themselves. Of course you must have figured out that Raiyan has absolutely no hand in those blog entries because sadly he can't even tell ME stories!
There is not a minute every day that I don't crave to have a chat with Raiyan. Everyday he would come back from school, I would ask him what he did at school today, only to receive a blank look and at best, an answer in an incomprehensible language that I wish I have a translator for (or "nonsense" language as the ABA would call it).
He once had a school trip to the fire department and I remember seeing all the other kids animatedly telling their mommies and daddies what they saw and what they did whilst my heart was crushed sitting in silence in the car with Raiyan, who as expected was not sharing with me his experience that afternoon.
Sometimes I do worry too when I pick him up from school and he seemed more subdued than other days. At his old school, I notice this especially when his class teacher was on sick leave and he'd have a substitute teacher instead. I don't want to jump into conclusions but I have heard some of the teachers in his old school scream at some of the kids and so it's not far-fetched for me to think that Raiyan may have been in the receiving end of one of those screamings, especially since he's not able to fully understand what the teacher is telling him. What I fear more is if someone actually hurts him and he's not able to tell me what happened. I have another distant cousin who's 4 years old and also doesn't know how to talk (not diagnosed as anything to date) and his parents stopped him from going to school cause he kept coming home with bite marks and bruises but no explanations. I can only continue to pray and have faith in the goodness of people so that no harm will come Raiyan's way for he is such a sweet and delightful boy who has never intentionally harmed anyone in his life.
Perhaps the worst thing is sometimes I feel like I don't even know Raiyan myself. I don't know what he's thinking, don't know why he likes the things he does, why he hates the things he does, why he does the things he does... and when me being the mother who's with him every day and night already feels this slight estrangement, what hope do I have for other people or new people he meets, to understand him?
Nevertheless, I like to look at the bright side of things and you know what? there is actually one good thing about Raiyan's lack of story-telling skills.. he doesn't tell people embarassing stories about his parents and so Jeff and me can still live our lives without having to worry about our doings being reported to others! Hahaha!
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