It’s no secret that Raiyan has had a quite rough start to the school year. And I have been quite honest with my own feelings in handling this difficult time in a few of my previous posts. Sometimes I do feel like I should just be thankful that Raiyan IS in school and so I should just continue to feel highly indebted to ISB for still accepting him despite the mayhem he seems to be causing. But on the other side of the coin, I sometimes still can’t help feeling like Raiyan is totally manageable if one is to take the time and learn to handle him the right way and so I can’t help thinking that all this drama is actually unnecessary and preventable.
To classify dealing with these battling emotions on an almost day to day basis as being highly nerve-racking is not exactly an exaggeration. This on top of being completely insecure and uncertain of Raiyan’s future in a school we are unsure favours his presence or not.
Our feelings were therefore muddled upon receiving a letter from the school last weekend requesting a meeting to address Raiyan and his issues in class. On one hand, we were pleased that finally some level of communication between the parents, the teachers and the administration can be established so we can start avoiding the convoluted messages we’ve been getting before this (you know where we are told everything is fine but then we hear something else from Kerri or Jo). But on the other, we were tremendously apprehensive about finally confronting the issue head on for fear that this may be the opportunity for the school to once and for all, inform us of their inability to continue with Raiyan and so we gotta start packing... or at the very least, we were suspecting that the school wanted to ask for full time support for Raiyan in class which would obviously mean added expenses on our part.
Alhamdulillah the meeting went well and better than we expected and it goes far to show how important good communication is. Instead of reasons of not being able to cope, Raiyan’s teacher had requested more in class support for Raiyan because she feels Raiyan, being incredibly bright, has the potential to go far with the right support and she fears that he will be short changed if the support is not there. And instead of needing FULL time support, she merely asked that he get the support during the crucial times of the day when presently, Jo is only around during times that Raiyan may be able to cope independently.
We discussed lengthily many options to try like:
-shifting the timetable of Jo’s presence in class
- using one of Kerri’s trainee as additional support but at a lower cost
-reducing his ABA hours and increasing in class support hours and
-picking Raiyan up earlier from school
all whilst maintaining the amount of subsidised school fees we have been paying this term AND the costs of his ABA therapies to a certain cap.
So this morning Jeff managed to narrow down 2 options to propose to Kerri and Jo and hopefully we can start either one after Hari Raya. The school has also agreed to review the whole issue again at the end of the term which may mean that if Raiyan is settling in better, there may be less need for in class support and then we can start increasing his ABA hours again. Hence we are happy to see that the school is not expecting Raiyan to have support permanently.
But best of all, the meeting has really helped put Jeff and me more at ease about the school’s impression of Raiyan and how he is perceived by them every day. Sure he is hard work but Alhamdulillah, his teacher genuinely does look like she has Raiyan’s best interest at heart. Plus the fact that she thinks he is incredibly bright and he can go really far is always comforting for a special needs parents to hear as another person other than us has managed to see Raiyan past his label for who he really is. Something we hope more of others will be able to do. This has surely helped me in this “peaceful” journey of ours and hopefully things can only get better after this..
To classify dealing with these battling emotions on an almost day to day basis as being highly nerve-racking is not exactly an exaggeration. This on top of being completely insecure and uncertain of Raiyan’s future in a school we are unsure favours his presence or not.
Our feelings were therefore muddled upon receiving a letter from the school last weekend requesting a meeting to address Raiyan and his issues in class. On one hand, we were pleased that finally some level of communication between the parents, the teachers and the administration can be established so we can start avoiding the convoluted messages we’ve been getting before this (you know where we are told everything is fine but then we hear something else from Kerri or Jo). But on the other, we were tremendously apprehensive about finally confronting the issue head on for fear that this may be the opportunity for the school to once and for all, inform us of their inability to continue with Raiyan and so we gotta start packing... or at the very least, we were suspecting that the school wanted to ask for full time support for Raiyan in class which would obviously mean added expenses on our part.
Alhamdulillah the meeting went well and better than we expected and it goes far to show how important good communication is. Instead of reasons of not being able to cope, Raiyan’s teacher had requested more in class support for Raiyan because she feels Raiyan, being incredibly bright, has the potential to go far with the right support and she fears that he will be short changed if the support is not there. And instead of needing FULL time support, she merely asked that he get the support during the crucial times of the day when presently, Jo is only around during times that Raiyan may be able to cope independently.
We discussed lengthily many options to try like:
-shifting the timetable of Jo’s presence in class
- using one of Kerri’s trainee as additional support but at a lower cost
-reducing his ABA hours and increasing in class support hours and
-picking Raiyan up earlier from school
all whilst maintaining the amount of subsidised school fees we have been paying this term AND the costs of his ABA therapies to a certain cap.
So this morning Jeff managed to narrow down 2 options to propose to Kerri and Jo and hopefully we can start either one after Hari Raya. The school has also agreed to review the whole issue again at the end of the term which may mean that if Raiyan is settling in better, there may be less need for in class support and then we can start increasing his ABA hours again. Hence we are happy to see that the school is not expecting Raiyan to have support permanently.
But best of all, the meeting has really helped put Jeff and me more at ease about the school’s impression of Raiyan and how he is perceived by them every day. Sure he is hard work but Alhamdulillah, his teacher genuinely does look like she has Raiyan’s best interest at heart. Plus the fact that she thinks he is incredibly bright and he can go really far is always comforting for a special needs parents to hear as another person other than us has managed to see Raiyan past his label for who he really is. Something we hope more of others will be able to do. This has surely helped me in this “peaceful” journey of ours and hopefully things can only get better after this..
5 comments:
Its seem a similar situation that we faces when our boy was in one particular at his early age , we were called by the Principal who raise the issue about his autism traid . They were concern as it might affect other students in some way as it may reach to the knowledge of other parents . We decided to opt out of the school as we didn't want to prolong the issue ( Just dont to discuss it here further ) Any way if it is still convenience i dont see any problem on both parties here unless your all have the options . This is part of the challegne we have to face ... Be strong always
What kind of school does Raiyan attend ? Is it Int. school ? The school is indeed supportive. You raise him well and you shall see good outcome.
When it comes to evaluation at every term, we also have some worries in our mind whether the girls performed and behaved accordingly. One is too quiet and the other is just too active.
We wish you "Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri". May God bless your family and your hard work raising the children well.
Hi anon, thanks for the advice and it's comforting to know that we're not alone.. I found it sad that you had to withdraw ur son in the end though but I hope you found a better school for him? At the moment, the programme we are choosing seems workable but nevertheless we are always being wary that it might just trun around 360 any minute! We just have to pray that it doesnt.. Thanks again :D
Hi Vie, sorry for the late reply to your comment.. Thanks so much for your well wishes and for reassuring me that I'm not alone in my worries :D yes Raiyan goes to an international school and so far, I do prefer the open format of the classes where it's not so restrictive on Raiyan. Well we'll see how it goes in the following year!
I wish you and your family all the best too and God Bless to you and your family too:D
Salam,
I am a special school teacher from Singapore. I am interested to know what kind of school Raiyan is attending now? I will also like to know if Brunei has special schools or special needs are integrated into mainstream schools.
Thanks.
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